Everyone seems obsessed with hygge these days. And what is hygge? The definition I found said that hygge is a quality of coziness and comfortable conviviality that engenders a feeling of contentment or well-being (regarded as a defining characteristic of Danish culture). And isn’t hygge what most people are trying to achieve. Comfort and warmth. Hence, I notice the word used in conjunction with cooking, decorating, fires and candles. Items being the primary method for invoking hygge. Which makes sense for a material-centered culture like ours.
But I would exert that true hygge is less about the meal or the perfect surroundings and more about the feeling. Imagine entering a beautiful perfectly decorated home with a fire burning and candles. The scene has been set for a lovely evening. But the people in the home are strange to you and are talking about you in an unfriendly manner. No matter how lovely the atmosphere, you feel uncomfortable and want to leave.
Then imagine going to a home, perhaps even to a very small building or apartment where the furnishings are a bit worn. There may be some piles of books or papers on the counter. There is a lamp on the table next to a sofa — nothing fancy. But there to greet you is the most adorable little grandmother and her husband. They are so happy to see you and welcome you with a smile and a warm hug. They offer you a small plate with perhaps a butter cookie from a tin or some crackers and cheese. They listen to your concerns and encourage you in your goals. You instantly feel comfortable and at home. You know that you want to visit this place again. You feel, loved, cherished and adored.
I would maintain that we as a society have spent quite a lot of money trying to create something in our homes that truly only can be created with love. Hygge, comfort, happiness and joy are feelings that are created in quite simple ways:
Smiling
Listening
Giving of the best we have
Gentle expectations
Encouragement
Unhurried time
Simple acts of caring
Good Humor
Love
My sister used to tell me how she particularly loved going to one friend’s home for dinner. Her friend served hot dogs for a crowd and the home was usually a bit messy. But the warm feeling this woman knew how to create among good friends was a lovely thing.
I love the scripture from Proverbs:
“Better is a dinner of herbs where love is, than a stalled ox and hatred therewith.” (Proverbs 15:17, KJV).
Hygge is not about items, its not about what we create. Big things are not necessary to homemaking. Indeed, a quest for items often deprives us of precious time. What happiness at home is truly about is the feelings we get when we are there. Little moments that make everything worthwhile. Smiling at a child. A family joke that everyone’s in on. A soccer game outside. A simple shared meal. Time spent talking on the couch. A quiet reply. Dropping everything to help out. These simple activities performed everyday contribute to a remarkable feeling at home. A feeling of stability, of happiness, of love. And a feeling that can be created in no other way.
Saplings and Sunflowers 